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Soldier
Soldier (allegedly Mister Jane Doe) is a psychotic patriot from America's heartland. History Early life Soldier was born and raised in the Midwest of the United States. Though he wanted desperately to fight in World War II, the Soldier was rejected by every branch of the military. Undaunted, he bought his own ticket to Europe. After arriving and finally locating Poland, the Soldier taught himself how to load and fire a variety of weapons before embarking on a Nazi killing spree for which he was awarded several medals that he designed and made himself. His rampage ended immediately upon hearing about the end of the war in 1949. Life as a mercenary During the summer of 1968, Soldier was one of nine mercenaries to be recruited by Reliable Excavation Demolition (RED) and Builders League United (BLU) to continue Redmond and Blutarch's never-ending war. In the WAR! Comic, Soldier, who was working for BLU, became good friends with Demoman, who was working for RED, after meeting at a Projectile Weapons Expo. The Administrator decided to take action, since she feared that the two would talk about work and discover they're both working for the same person. Later, a messenger was sent to the Soldier's apartment. The Soldier questioned the man for his identity while pointing a Shotgun at him and taking cover behind an upturned table. The messenger then opened his trench coat to reveal a television screen strapped to his body. On the screen was the Administrator, who addressed the Soldier. She gives him two options: her associates drive him to the nearest Gravel Pit where they kill him for gross insubordination, or he kill the Demoman. He rejects both offers, threatening that if he is asked to kill his friend again he will stick his boot so far up the Administrator's ass it will be on the news. The Administrator questioned the friendship and played a video of an image of the Demoman with a robotic voice-over saying that the Soldier is a bad friend. The Soldier, while put off by this, again stated he can't do it as the two formed a close bond. The video played on, this time with the robotic voice stating that the Soldier isn't in fact a real Soldier, but a civilian. Being called a civilian enraged the Soldier, who then accepted the offer. The Administrator is pleased by this and announced that he will be receiving new weapons shortly.WAR! Comic Thereafter, Soldier moved in with the Scottish wizard, Merasmus. Soldier managed to get a law degree with the help of his new roommate.A Smissmas StoryUnhappy Returns When the Demoman was telling the story about how he lost his eye to Merasmus, the Soldier recognized the wizard's name and complained about his lack of dish-washing. Merasmus, who was also present, immediately began arguing with the Soldier. The Demoman was shocked to realize the pair were roommates. Merasmus complained about the vegetarian platter and after a huge argument, the Soldier snapped the necromancer's staff in half over his knee. In revenge, Merasmus conjured up Monoculus, the Demoman's missing eye, and declared he will return to his apartment as the mercenaries fight the gigantic demon. However, the Soldier jumped upon Merasmus and began to strangle him as the Heavy and Scout begin fighting Monoculus.Bombinomicon During the events of Soldier Needs a Home, Merasmus kicked the Soldier out of his castle for being a nuisance. When Merasmus found later that the Soldier trashed his home and evicted him, he took on a ghostly form and decided to attack the Soldier's team. Robot invasion Mann Co. No More Trivia *Soldier's alias, Jane Doe, is also used as a placeholder name when referring to a female person or corpse whose true identity is unknown or must be withheld. *The Soldier almost never removes his helmet, even outside of battle. *The Soldier enjoys Capt. Dan's Army Surplus Soup, Guns and Haircuts Magazine, and deliveries from The Rib Place. *The Soldier's apartment door has armholes for snapping the necks of would-be intruders. The apartment door also has seven locks. **The Soldier's apartment has a map of Germany on the wall, most likely related to his post-WWII Nazi killing sprees. *The Soldier does not openly say that he is not a real soldier (being denied from every branch of military, and going on his own tour of duty) and keeps the fact a secret. The mere suggestion that the Soldier is a civilian is liable to send him into a fit of self-righteous fury. *The Soldier hates hippies and loves violence. *The Soldier claims to have jumped on 1,336 live grenades, a likely reference to 1337, the "leet speak" translation of 'elite'. Gallery References Category:Characters Category:Alive Category:Team Fortress 2